I Stink At Friendship

This thought has been in my mind for awhile. A couple of things caused me to really think about this. One was a conversation between some of us soccer moms about how we didn't do a single thing we talked about this summer (get together with kids, as couples). It kind of made me sad. Then a couple of days ago, a blog was posted on Facebook that another mom wrote and I got excited.
Yes!!! Someone feels like me. I couldn't click on the link fast enough.  And honestly it was a great article...for moms of only small kids. She was writing from the view point of a mommy of toddlers, and that is great...but it caused me to feel like I didn't have a good enough "excuse."
I have two elementary age kids and a baby. I'm not chasing all three around all day...it's just one usually during the day.

But yes, I stink at friendship and it's been really getting to me. It's not on any one else, it's me. It started almost a year ago. Between moving into a house, being pregnant, having my sweet boy, spending a month in the NICU, and honestly being consumed with him (I struggled with letting him out of my sight, even though he was completely healthy) I lost the closeness that I had with a lot of friends. 
In these past few months I would think about texting someone to get together, and one of two things would happen: I would get self conscious and think that the person would be too busy or already have plans, or I would honestly forget. (I have learned three kids is my limit...anymore and I will be hiding in my closet all day eating chocolate.) There are nights I want to get together with it other women, but I know then I'd have to also bring little man since he refuses to take a bottle. Momma needs a night out...but it's hard making that happen right now. ( unless we get the night started after 8 o'clock, and let's be real I'm exhausted usually by then!)
I've at times said, oh all mommas are like this, we're all crazy busy. But then I see other moms who are doing it. They are nurturing friendship and getting together; they are doing life together. So what is my excuse?!?!
I'm at an absolute loss. I long for these friendships, I long for the closeness. But I just don't know how to get back into that world. I feel like that I'll let certain things consumed me that I neglected relationships in my life.
Relationships are so important. We were not meant to do life alone! God created relationships. He knew it would be a need for us to have relationships. (Marriage, friendships, etc.) We just went through a series at church on relationships, and while it was mainly focused on a marriage relationship, there were so many good points that went along with friendships.
There are many verses in the bible about friendship. One that always sticks out to me is in Ecclesiastics 4:9-10

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

Life was not meant to be done alone. It has always broken my heart when I hear people say they don't need anyone; they don't need any sort of relationships. My best memories are not me being alone...they are memories I share with those I love. Whether it be family or friends, my fondest memories involves people I love and care about.

So to my friends who I've neglected, I'm sorry. I will do my best to be a better friend and to be there with you. And if I don't, you have every right to knock me upside the head and tell me to get it together 😁😁😁

Everyone be blessed.